I'm Bisexual | My Sexuality Story

Hello...

I've been meaning to sit down and write this post for a while, and I really wanted to share it with you. 

I have put this off for months but better late than never. 

I wanted to write this because I want to be able to explain my story about my sexuality and how I've felt about it. It's definitely not easy but I'm coping with it. 

Struggling with your sexuality can be difficult no matter where you are from. It's difficult to not know what sexuality you identify with, I keep seeing it so many times. I already was aware of that, I just didn't realize it. I didn't want to think about it or start thinking about it but I couldn't escape from it. Yeah, I could push it to the back of my mind, forget about it but I couldn't find a way out of it at all. And it scared me. 

I firstly thought this isn't happening, I mean, how can it, I'm not bisexual, go away. Let me not think about what my sexuality is until I know for sure. Then I can start to think about it. 

I didn't identify as bisexual at first, it was all confusing for me. Figuring out anything for the first time is confusing. It's not easy trust me. I've spent a lot of time figuring out who I was. I really hated not knowing anything about my sexuality. 

The thing is, I wasn't the only one who was and is going through this. I felt like I was totally alone and on my own. I felt like I was being controlled by what was going on in my mind. I spent many months dealing secretly with this. I know figuring out who you are and who you want to be is very scary. You have tons of time to find yourselves. 

I kept it to myself to be honest because I only wanted myself to know. I didn't say anything to anybody because I wasn't 100% sure at the time. 

Did I want to be bisexual?

Did I want to be stuck with a sexuality I didn't know? That was the answer I told myself over and over again. But I didn't realize it would all be okay in the end. 

Someone changed it all for me. 

For the better, in the best way possible. I felt like it all was going to be okay.

For once. 

Marion.

Meeting Marion, my ex-girlfriend, was the best thing that has ever been mine. The more we got talking the more understanding we had between us. She was like a piece to my jigsaw that went missing. She was genuinely always interested in everything I had to say, it felt amazing and I wanted us to be something.

I wanted it to mean something. 

I still remember spending hours on SKYPE.

I had that special something. 

But we were long distance, France to England. It was awful being miles away but we survived. My heart goes out to anyone long distance, it's hard but you can overcome it. 

It felt wonderful to have her to say goodnight to every night. 

It was an amazing feeling.

I had someone that loved me for me and loved me for who I was. 

Marion was the only one that helped me be okay with my sexuality.

I'm forever grateful.

I always will be. 

I really do hope my sexuality story has helped in some way. My family don't acknowledge my sexuality and it stays that way. I hope people can come to terms being okay with who they are. You can always talk to somebody about sexuality and it does help.

So yeah, that is my sexuality story. 

It's been hard to write down but I'm glad I've explained as best I can. All I'll say is it can and does get better. Also, stay tuned for my Valentines Day series of blog posts on my blog next week. I love you all. 

Edit : I forgot to mention my Tumblr is full of lesbian posts. I didn't identify as lesbian because I dated a girl did not make me lesbian, we were just in love with each other. 

I'm very proud to be bisexual and I'll keep that flag flying high.